RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 34 – Real men stand together


In today’s world, we have all sorts of men but real men are willing to die for their wives and children yet there is something inside them that longs for someone to die with – someone to die beside – another man with a heart like your own.

Friendship requires honesty. Friendship requires trust. Friendship requires vulnerability. Friendship is uncompromising of values.

Men who have neglected intimate friendships with other men have far greater difficulty handling the mid-life turmoil and are devastated at retirement without a network of friends or support. Today’s image of the independent man is that he has few if any emotional needs. Therefore they manufacture non-emotional reasons for being together.

– Are you giving yourself to anyone?
– Are you opening up to anyone?
– How would you describe your own friendship with other men: casual, close, intimate, or non-existent?

The core of all meaningful relationships, particularly man-to-man, is shared values. They don’t necessarily have to have the same skills or talents or interests or hobbies.

At the value levels of your lives, you are walking together step by step. Wives, children, Kingdom, vision of ministry, etc.

With shared values, you are willing to stand together for something much larger than yourself. That’s the core of friendship. It’s much bigger than golf of rugby. This is much wider and deeper than trout fishing or shooting game.

Credits – Amanda Buys
Image source –


RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 32 – Your own children


God gave fatherhood to the YOURman. You are responsible for the development of your children. God did not leave it to your wife.

Genesis 17:18-19 18 And Abraham said to God, ‘If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!’
19 Then God said, ‘Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him.

Psalm 78:5-6 5 He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children,
6 so that the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

A Few Practical Pointers – for Positive Father power:

    • Pursue the ultimate Father: live for eternity instead of the weekends. Think larger than yourself. Model and teach respect for authority.
    • Help your family see the big picture. Commit solidly to family unity. Be positive in building family member’s confidence.

QUESTION: Is promise-keeping an important part of your own practice of fathering?

Psalm 127:3-5 “behold – children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
Image source –

RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 22 – Men that make a difference


It’s tough being a man – especially in a culture that is not sure what manhood means.
Many men wonder: “What do women want? “What do people expect of me? “What do my children need?”

Men are expected to fill a wide variety of roles. It can be extremely difficult to achieve a healthy balance. God has however, provided a powerful blueprint for balanced manhood.

In a world that is hurting badly, people are searching for answers and solutions to all their problems. I [Amanda Buys] have counseled many hurting and wounded people over the past years and have discovered that the greatest wound comes from a broken father relationship.

We have weak churches because we have weak families; we have weak families because we have weak marriages; we have weak marriages because we have weak husbands and fathers; we have weak husbands and fathers because nobody has ever trained them!

May God use this teaching to heal and restore those that missed out on having a dad that could teach you what it means to be a man.

– What really matters to you?
– What do you want to accomplish with your life?
– When your tombstone is carved, what words do you hope to appear on it?

Despite all challenges, that sometimes go above what we think we can handle, God stretches out a His hand to us; to guide us to where He has destined for us to go. This is for fathers as well.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
Image source –



Ladies, we need to enroll in the class of ‘stepping back’ especially when it comes to your children. It is important that you allow your man room to step up into his role. Make your needs known to him and then step back. It may be so difficult to do more so if you’ve been doing everything by yourself but man craves respect and praise.

“I need” are good words to use with men because they have planted in their spirits a God given drive to fix things and to restore order. If a man feels like you’ve got it covered, he will allow you to take the whole ball and run with it.

Therefore, step back and let a man rise or fall on his own. This is where the muscles of character are built.

We don’t like to watch the struggle. It looks too painful, but don’t stop the process. God holds him accountable as He held Adam accountable to fulfil his entire call as a man. He gave men certain strengths that women do not possess and vice versa.


Dear Heavenly Father, I receive forgiveness for allowing myself to be swept away by my own expectations. I receive forgiveness for having invested misguided hope in a man when my hope should have been in You. You alone are my source of peace and joy. You alone can make me fruitful in a way that is pleasing to You and fulfilling to me. As I cast my cares upon You because You care for me, I declare that my eyes are open to see Your willing participation in my life on a daily basis, even in the little things. I receive forgiveness for allowing myself to be filled with disappointment, frustration and resentment. At times I feel angry with You as I begin to buy into the lie that You have failed me. It is really I who have failed myself by demanding more of myself than You do. But now I choose to relax and let go. I thank You that You take care of the things for which I feel falsely responsible. I receive the wisdom to know when I should take hold and when I should let go. I receive guidance by Your Holy Spirit so as not to fall prey to my own fearful instincts. As I rest in You, I thank You that You will keep that which I have committed into Your hands, now and evermore. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

Cedits – Amanda Buys.

Image source –

Do you find it almost impossible  to praise and appreciate people. Keep it here, and we will negotiate through those waters too😊


He was successful,
everyone knew about it,
they smelt it,
they felt it.

He had no family insight,
what an oversight!
the children suffered,
it was painful.

His life was wretched,
it racked of devastation,
with no one to hold him,
and no pillar to keep him grounded,
he was a mess

Posted on Daily Post – Successful, Oversight, Devastation



“Though I’ve grown old, the bell still rings for me as it does for all who truly believe.”  Christ Van Allsburg, The Polar Express.

As a child,
Christmas was all about food,
as a teen,
nothing really mattered,
with all the confusion in my house,
as I grew older,
the bells do not get my appetite worked up,
nor confusion and anger to brew,
they call me to Him,
they remind me that He is the reason,
the reason I believe