RESTORATION OF FEMININITY 10 – Lessons from the life of Deborah


Judges chapters 4 & 5
She understood her spiritual calling. She was a prophetess – it was her God-ordained purpose. It was the totality of who she was. Therefore, when she spoke, it was with authority.

This had nothing to do with her being a male or female. It had to do with a need God had to expose His heart and His plans to His people. This was a need that God knew Deborah would be able to fulfil.

Deborah also understood her call in the natural as a woman, as a wife. The Bible clearly adds the tile of “wife of Lappidoth” to her list of credits, which means it was significant to God.

Lappidoth means “to shine forth”, which speaks of the fact that her husband had a renowned reputation of his own. Yet he was secure enough to release Deborah to be the great leader that she was. The way she handled the situation with Barak tells us about what went on in her home and the way she interacted with her husband. The text clearly indicates that she was submitted as a wife to her husband and she was blessed because of it. Everyone knew that because her house was in order, they could respect her and follow her.

The people would never have willingly followed Deborah if she were out of line. She was a wife first before she was a judge, a woman before she was a leader. She was under submission first to God and then to her husband.

Some Christian women are confused over this and they wonder why their husbands want nothing to do with God or the church. Do you know why?

Firstly, no man will ever embrace something with which he feels he is in competition. If you are making the man in your life feel that he has to compete with Jesus or your pastor, you need to repent about this right away. The presence of God in your life should make you a better wife to that man. Stop treating the pastor better than you treat your husband. Whether your husband is saved or unsaved, God still holds you responsible and accountable to serve, love and submit to that man (abusive situations are excluded).

Secondly, no man is going to frequent a place in which he feels all the women are in charge. Men are fixers by nature; if there is nothing for them to fix, they move on in search of unconquered territory.

As for those of you who feel stifled and hindered from ministry because of your mate, take heed. God is never going to put your ministry before your care for your husband. That is unscriptural. It would be going against His own Word, and He is not going to do that. Don’t forget that serving your husband is also being obedient to God. Your man is won to God by your behaviour. You are the only example your mate receives of how to submit to God. The way we submit to visible leadership is a good indicator of how we will heed invisible authority.

Thirdly, Deborah understood her positional calling as a servant of God. This is the master hint on how to maintain your femininity in the boardroom or whatever environment makes you feel as if you need to wage a war for equal rights or just humane consideration.
Deborah did her job because God said so. It wasn’t about the men around her. It was about a Kingdom call, not her own personal agenda.

EPH 6: 7, 8 Rendering service readily with goodwill, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that for whatever good anyone does, he will receive his reward from the Lord, whether he is slave or free.

Stop looking at the natural man at your job. Your identity is hidden somewhere higher than the plaque on your door or your company job description. God has ordained you to operate on three levels: In the spirit, as a woman and as His servant.

Your goal should be to fulfil His call on your life and not what you can get out of doing what you do. You can spend all your energy trying to grasp your desires in your human efforts and live a life of frustration – overworked and under appreciated or worse; losing all you’ve laboured for in a blink of an eye. As you get over the praise of men, God will reward you richly for developing a servant’s heart.

Dear Heavenly Father, I receive forgiveness for my misplaced priorities. I receive forgiveness for not celebrating the woman You created me to be. I receive forgiveness for buying into the lie of the world that I am inferior, a voice to be ignored, an empty vessel without honour. I now embrace the truth that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that I am a marvellous work, that my femininity is a treasure hidden in this earthly vessel.
I rejoice in the gifts You have given me, gifts of influence and wisdom. I stir up the gifts You’ve placed within me and I decree that I am a wise steward of all that You have deposited in my spirit. As I strip off all preconceived ideas and worldly labels, I rest in the assurance of Your salvation, Your authority, Your validation of all that I am in You. I gladly receive instruction to be the woman whom You have fashioned me to be. I receive guidance in the way that You would have me take, to the praise and honour of Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

Credits – Amanda Buys
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RESTORATION OF FEMININITY 6 -The Godly order of women


It is time to take an honest look at what being out of order costs us as women.

It costs us the covering and protection of confident men. It costs us the security of our homes and the soundness of our children. It costs us the safety of our communities. It costs us our personal peace and fulfillment. It costs us our health. It’s just one too many loopholes for us to just sit back as though it were business as usual.

Cc – Amanda Buys



Our gifts as women or females are;
– Influence
– Intuition (The ability to be spiritually sensitive, to read the one print in a given situation)
– Sexuality and reproductive abilities.

Man and woman were both created in the image of God, each was uniquely created to emphasize specific parts of God’s nature, with man leaning more toward the mind of God, and woman more toward the heart of God.
Keeping this in mind, we must realize that the man’s heart also seeks the same thing that God’s heart seeks – worship. Man’s foremost desire is for honour, which comes in the form of respect and submission.

God dwells in the midst of His praise, and it is clear that intimacy is born out of the worship experience. All barriers come down in the face of admiration. All defences are lowered as we enjoy the attributes of our beloved, and they in turn respond by drawing closer to us.

As our praises go up to God, He comes down, drawing closer and standing ready to pour out to us the desires of our hearts.
The same thing takes place in our earthly relationships. As we make men feel good about themselves, they pour more of themselves out to us.

True intimacy is birthed out of this sort of communion, and sexual intimacy is the highest form of mutual worship. It is the place of complete vulnerability and openness. Naked and unashamed; without pretence all is revealed and exchanged, and the two come away with a deeper knowing of one another, sharing a bond strong than before.

However, many of us have been made to believe that only near-nude dressing or vulgar language will evoke all these emotions from their husbands. But it’s also sad to note that sex is no longer given the value it deserves.

Cc – Amanda Buys
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Although he was also cursed, he was satisfied that the first phase of his mission had been accomplished. He had successfully caused man to forfeit his God-ordained authority upon the earth, severed the relationship between man and God, and drew battle lines between man and woman. Now he would always have the woman as an open door to get to the man, using her power of influence, her charms, her tongue and her body to penetrate the man’s exterior. We see a lot if that today – look at our dressing as females today. While we call it style and fashion, the enemy has carved a winning ploy through it.

And he would use the man against the woman to cast blame and inflict authority rather than inspire submission. He would use man’s confusion to victimise that which he should protect.

We now all stand as witnesses to the damage done in the Garden. We now have resorted to considering the idea that “men are from Mars and women are from Venus” in order to explain our differences. But, the truth is, no matter how clever the cliché, we are not from different planets. Our origin is much closer: We are part of one another with visible and invisible differences. We are made to benefit, not be at odds with one another.

Understanding and celebrating our differences instead of blaming and shaming is the first step we must take.
God did not design a man’s world but rather where man and woman work together in peaceful harmony, building one another up and promoting each other to good works – namely our God-given assignments on the earth – that others would observe the fruit of our lives and give glory to God.

We women lost it when we failed to recognise our own unique power. Instead we got locked into a power struggle that never existed from God’s vantage point. With everyone defending themselves, we are all losing ground.

It’s time to take off the boxing gloves and allow God to redistribute His first commission to us – man and woman both in power because of their status as complementary partners.

Let’s take a look at Eve again. We need to remember, in order to start feeling valuable and powerful, that man needs help. Man does not do well without woman. God has given each of us specific gifts in order to equip us to be a specific man’s helper. Your gifts may differ from that of another sister, and that’s only because she was created to assist a different type of man. This is why you must understand that not just any man will do for you, or vice versa.

Cc – Amanda Buys
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He knew God’s plan for man and he had to abort it at all costs. He knew from experience that rebellion was the one thing God would not allow in His presence. He had to cause a breach in Adam and Eve’s relationship with God.

He also knew never to underestimate the power of woman. He knew the effect she had on a man. This is why she became his target.
Instead of finding themselves like God, the only thing they really knew was that they were now ashamed of their nakedness.

Eve discovered something else: When man was ashamed, he became insecure. And when he became insecure, he became defensive and cast blame upon her. She became the enemy in the midst of his shame and failure.

Failure was a weight that Adam could not bear. It emasculated him in the presence of Eve. Because he submitted to the woman’s hand that held the fruit, he would now have to struggle for her respect and submission for the rest of his days.

The enemy, unlike what many of us have been made to believe, is very alert. His undulating moves and trickery are out to usurp us of our God given nature and ability. We need to redeem the time, save the younger generation for the times are evil.

Cc – Amanda Buys
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Proverbs 2:1 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,
2 making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;
3 yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,
4 if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God

David taught Solomon the ways of the Lord, for no where else do you find the knowledge of God but from His word. No wonder Solomon was able to ask the Lord for wisdom to lead Israel.
When we teach our children the ways of the Lord, they will surely know what they need at every stage of life and ask of the Lord accordingly. Even in those forlorn situations, where they’d rather take their lives than live, His Word will direct them otherwise. But all this calls for us to be consistent in this God given responsibility.


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Proverbs 1:8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
9 for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.

The word of the Lord brings life, and when we instruct our children according to His word, their lives will surely turn out beautiful. The words we instruct them become pendants on their necks if and only when they are in line with the word of God.

However, in this world where there is too much information; and not all is good for them, it’s our duty to not only be funnels that draw information to them but also seives that filter what they interface with as much as we can.


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