RESTORING YOUR SEXUALITY 23 – Sexually deviant behaviour cont’d

First of all what is it?
It’s when you stimulate yourself physically to the point of orgasm.

Is it sin? Many people argue whether masturbation is sin or not because it is not specifically mentioned in the Bible.

It’s easy to tell.
✔️Do you feel ashamed?
✔️Is it something you would be comfortable sharing in front of your church?
✔️Do you really want your co workers to know?
✔️If it’s okay, then why do you go to such great lengths to cover it up?

Because deep down, you are ashamed, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that it is okay. Shame is always the result of sin and masturbation is accompanied by shame.

Whenever we are ashamed of something, we will hide it and do it in secret. That’s a pretty good indicator that masturbation is sin. Even in marriage, most people hide it from their husband or wife because they know it is wrong.

There are several reasons why you should avoid masturbating. One of the reasons is that it can become addicting. Because it brings a physical release and even releases chemicals in the brain, you can find your desire to do it increasing. After a while, whenever you feel upset or tense, you will find a desire to masturbate. We will talk more about sexual addiction in the subsequent posts.

Most teenagers think that they can masturbate and when they get married they will just stop. That is a lie. Many adults still struggle with masturbation in their marriage. It is how they were sexually imprinted and until that imprinting is cleansed that desire is there.

If it becomes an addiction as a teenager, whenever circumstances are tense or upsetting, you will have a desire to masturbate even if you are having regular sexual intercourse with your husband or wife.

How does masturbation hurt marriage?
☑️It causes your partner to feel like they are not enough. It makes them feel that something is wrong with them and creates feelings of rejection.
☑️Also, the Word of God tells us not to withhold our bodies from each other unless agreed upon for a time of fasting. Masturbation allows us to get mad and stay mad at each other because we can meet our sexual needs on our own.
When masturbation is not an option, then we have to forgive each other and make up because we need each other. Masturbation says, “I really don’t need you.”

I [Amanda Buys] have ministered to people who discovered their spouses masturbating on their honeymoon. They were devastated.

Can you imagine how that would feel? Can you imagine how the marriage started off? Please do not lie to yourself and say that your masturbation does not affect your spouse.

That simply is not true. You are perverting sexual energy. It is also a reflection of other issues in your life – self-centeredness, narcissism, immaturity, and control issues usually go hand and hand with a masturbation addiction.

Credits – Amanda Buys


RESTORING YOUR SEXUALITY 22 – Sexually deviant behaviour cont’d

Moving on…….


Many victims of rape end up in degrading relationships, re-creating the rape over and over.

Or they use alcohol and drugs and put themselves in a state where they do not have self control.  Through the effects of drugs and alcohol, they re-create the rape.

Because of the sexual imprinting they continue to seek relationships and situations where they are over-powered.

They are unable to say “no”.

You may wonder why anyone on earth would want to do that. The power of sexual imprinting is very strong. Healing must take place, boundaries must be restored, they must take back their “no” which was stolen from them, their value has to be redeemed.

Once again there are different levels of imprinting and subsequently different levels of ministry. Nonetheless All rape is a violation at the deepest level.

But there will be a difference:
🔹if the individual was a virgin and it was there first time experience;
🔹if they have had good healthy sex within the boundaries of marriage and then experienced rape;
🔹if the rape was by someone they knew or by a stranger;
🔹if it was date rape;
🔹if there was other violence involved; etc.

Rape victims have to deal with the *feeling of being unprotected by God – Where was He? Why didn’t He intervene?

At times they deal with false guilt:
▪️Did I do anything to bring it on?
▪️Was it what I was wearing?
▪️Why was I so stupid to open the door?

If they proceed through legal processes, they may have frustration and anger at the legal system.
🔸Why did they get off so easy?
🔸I’m the one who was raped and yet it feels like I’m the one on trial.
🔸What about their release day, from that day on, I’ll know they are still out there.

Besides areas of sexual imprinting, there are areas of fear, anger, frustration and other emotional areas that will need ministry.

As in the area of sexual abuse, a spouse must be very understanding and allow healing to come before requiring them to immediately re-enter into a sexual relationship.

You can’t look at it as rejection, if your spouse just had surgery, would you jump on the hospital bed and demand sex? Well, maybe if you were a sex addict, but not normally. You would allow time for healing.

Credits – Amanda Buys



Like one in a trance,
I latched onto her hand like a tick,
I could swear I had seen something ooze out of my hand,
It was so gross that I could not take this sight,
Essy, took it upon herself to shake me back to life,
it was then that I realized the scene I’d created,
and how my eyes had played tricks on me

Ooze, lurch, trance


image source:


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While Sasha loved music, no amount of coercion would bring her to play her father’s organ. The room that contained it was one that held bitter memories for this beautiful young girl; her mother had died there. Besides that, the cover had a color so grim, it reminded her of cow hides and slaughtered cows. The thought of their blood spilling everywhere revolted her.

She kept her passion for school and church despite the need for music to brighten the gloomy Martins’ household.She hoped that one day, it would dawn on her rather uptight father hence make some changes.


Thank you PJ for the platform