A man’s strength lies in these things;
– To make and keep promises.
– Refusing to turn from his commitment.
– It is this staying power that makes and marks a man.
– Not bungee jumping, playing rugby, etc.
– Certainly not leaving your wives.
– Not abandoning your families.

The curse of our day is not so much the AIDS epidemic as it is men who don’t know what a man is and who cut and run from their wives and families.

Some statistics…
– Through most of the 70’s and 80’s, a million children a year watched their parents split-up.
– Over fifty million kids are growing up in homes without a father.
– 70% of men in prison grew up without a father.

Our world is falling apart for lack of kings, warriors, mentors and lovers, for lack of men who will stay and who will keep their word. Keeping your word is critical.

The calling of every man is to offer stability to a world full of chaos.

We live in a “hope so” world. There are few certainties in this life. We “hope…”
– That our marriages will work out
– That we will find fulfillment
– That our children will turn out okay
– That we’ll be able to keep a decent job.

A real man brings certainty to his world by the power of a promise. Promise making and keeping is at the heart of godliness.

At the heart of God – at the core of His nature – is the making and keeping of promises. All Scripture hangs on a promise – a series of covenants.

Out of the whole world, two people – a man and a woman – chose each other. There will always be someone else more beautiful, intelligent, wealthy, witty, competent, sensitive or sensual, But the power of that choice, that promise should keep them together with no question of finding a “better mate”.

The toxin of comparison should be utterly neutralized and washed away by the sacred anti-toxin of promise.

At the heart of staying power is SACRIFICE – giving one’s self up for the good of another.

Our example is: THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.
When He could have turned away from the cross, He stayed on course all the way to Calvary. When He could have come down from the cross and sidestepped the suffering, He stayed. He persevered and “stayed under” all the way until that moment came when He could cry out, “It is finished”.

Why did He do that?
– So that through His resurrection power alive in your lives, you can become the kind of man He called you to be.
– You can hang in there and face anything life or death of hell has to throw at you – because He did it all before you.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 24 – The four pillars of manhood.


Granted that manhood is not a fabric you will wear and dump as you please, but there are times some fathers don’t  think they have what it takes to be a father? Others don’t think that their fibre is not the father kind? Let us change that perspective, for it’s ingrained in you, waiting to be discovered🙂🙂

Man and his godly roots

Four life rhythms throb in the veins of every male: KING. WARRIOR. MENTOR. FRIEND.

  • To the degree that they are balanced, the image is clear and they reflect the light of the One in whose image they are made.
  • To the degree that they are abused, the image is distorted, the man withers and those around him experience pain.

Man was made to have dominion.

The heart of the king is a provisionary heart. He looks ahead, watches over and provides order, mercy, and justice. He is authority. He is leader. He stands “under orders” from Higher Authority.

God closes His Book on a white horse, in a blood –spattered robe, with a sword in His mouth and a rod of iron in His hand.

The Book ends with a roar, not a whimper.
The heart of a warrior is a protective heart.

The warrior shields, defends, stands between and guards. Men stand tallest when they are protecting and defending.

A warrior is one who possesses high moral standards and holds to high principles. He is willing to live by them, stand for them, spend himself in them, and if necessary die for them.

This function is commanded in the Bible in the form of “teaching them to observe” and “disciplining”. The heart of a mentor is a teaching heart.
He models, explains and trains.
Men are supposed to be able to teach life.

He is supposed to know things.

The heart of a friend is a loving heart. It is a care -giving heart. Compassionate. Commitment-maker. Promise -keeper.

Masculinity means Initiation.

Hebrew word for man: “Ish” – piercer.
The term for woman is: “Isha” – pierced one. At his core a man is an initiator – a piercer, one who penetrates, move forward, advances, and leads. At the core of masculinity:

  • It means caring for and developing your mate, your children and yourself.
  • It means taking the lead in apologizing, the lead in seeking forgiveness, the lead in vulnerability.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 23 – What makes a man?


They are very many ways to define a man. Gone are the messy days, today, we take stand to regain the rightful stature of a man.🙂

First, foremost and above all else, it is VISION.
– A vision for something larger than himself.
– A vision for something out there.
– A vision of a place to go.
– A cause to give oneself for.

Call it a sense of destiny. Call it a hill to climb. A mountain to conquer. A continent to cross.

A man must visualize ahead of time. A Project. Think forward. Lift his eyes and chart the course ahead. Anticipate what the months and years may bring.

This is the very essence of his leadership. This is the “KING” in every man – always looking ahead, watching out for his people, providing direction and order.

Men so often misplace their vision. They focus mainly on houses, cars, bank accounts and job titles, thinking that this brings about status and security, when in fact there is no status or security without relationships. Matters of character, heart, spirit, integrity, justice, and humility are where men ought to be majoring in their provision.

Men, your families are all looking to you, they’re depending on you to set the course, to determine the direction, to set the pace.

The measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family. A real provider has a vision for a marriage that bonds deeply, for sons with character as strong as trees and for daughters with confidence and deep inner beauty. Without that vision and leadership a family struggles, gropes and may lose its way.

Men and women
Men have a God-given tendency to look up and out and discern objects in the hazy distance.

Women have a tendency to read the “fine print” of relationships. A woman is simply a better reader. She has better focus on people and situations at hand. She can read right away what’s happening in the spirit, in a tone of voice, in a facial expression. Women place more emphasis on detail and on security. Men need to use their God -given capacity for distance vision to encourage and give hope and security to their families. When they cannot or will not, the people under their roofs suffer loss.

– Men, when was the last time you developed a five-year plan for your family?
– Have you dreamed of it yourself?
– Have you shared it with your wife?
– Refined it together?
– Communicated it to the kids?

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 22 – Men that make a difference


It’s tough being a man – especially in a culture that is not sure what manhood means.
Many men wonder: “What do women want? “What do people expect of me? “What do my children need?”

Men are expected to fill a wide variety of roles. It can be extremely difficult to achieve a healthy balance. God has however, provided a powerful blueprint for balanced manhood.

In a world that is hurting badly, people are searching for answers and solutions to all their problems. I [Amanda Buys] have counseled many hurting and wounded people over the past years and have discovered that the greatest wound comes from a broken father relationship.

We have weak churches because we have weak families; we have weak families because we have weak marriages; we have weak marriages because we have weak husbands and fathers; we have weak husbands and fathers because nobody has ever trained them!

May God use this teaching to heal and restore those that missed out on having a dad that could teach you what it means to be a man.

– What really matters to you?
– What do you want to accomplish with your life?
– When your tombstone is carved, what words do you hope to appear on it?

Despite all challenges, that sometimes go above what we think we can handle, God stretches out a His hand to us; to guide us to where He has destined for us to go. This is for fathers as well.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 21 – The final measure of a father’s success


Fathers make mistakes. Fathers grow old and no longer have the strength that made their sons love them. While they may have the heart, the body winds down.

Paul, in jail, the man who clothed many now needs a cloak – II Tim 4:13.

But a son will:
Honour your father that your days be long (Ex 20:12), vs You curse your father and you will die (Matt 15:4).
– Manifestation of honour is substantial (Prov 3:9; II Chron 17:5; I Tim 5: 3, 17, 18) vs just lip service (Is 29:13).
– Wait for his right of inheritance vs Saul took Samuel’s place (I Sam 15:22).

Despite all the failures that have happened in fatherhood, fathers should not despair. Restart by looking at where things went wrong and correcting them.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 20 – Types of fathers 2


We continue from where we stopped in the previous post but one thing is certain, we can’t demean the value of fathers in our world. Fathers, do not dim your lights for a thing, the younger generation needs your light to walk in the ways of the Lord.

B) What Are We Passing On?

– Righteousness – Deut 7:9
– Revelation of God – Deut 29:29
– Fellowship – Ex 29:42
– Prayer – Ps 141:2; Ex 30:8
– Atonement – Ex 30:10
– Rest – Ex 31:16
– Anointing – Ex 30:31; 40:15
– Offerings – Lev 6:18; Num 15:21
– Requirement for service – Lev 10:9
– Financial freedom – Lev 25:30
– Garments – Ex 28: 42-43; Num 15:38
– Service – Num 18:23

– Iniquity – Ex 20:5; 34:7; Deut 5:9
– Illegitimacy – Deut 23:2
– Impure heritage – Deut 23:3
– Disqualification for service – Lev 21:17; 22:3

C) How is the flow of blessings stopped?

When you:
– Provoke your children – Eph 6:4.
– Sell your birthright – Gen 25: 29-34; Heb 12: 16-17.
– Steal someone else’s birthright – Deut 19:14; 27:17; Hos 5:10

D) How do you get to be a father?
Be prepared to circumcise your son – cut covenant. It’s a painful, time consuming and costly procedure, but it produces a son who honours his father (Ex 4: 24-26 – Moses; Acts 16: 1-3; Deut. 10: 15-16; Jer. 4:4).

Jacob gave a garment – covering of authority and favour made with materials of love, effort and time (father heart). Joseph filled it with honour and faithfulness (son).
Aaron was anointed on his head – his sons not so (Ex 29: 4-9), but they were given coats/garments (Ex 28: 1-3).

Anointing is passed by oil flowing down into the garments and passed onto the son – garments of love, encouragement and praise (Ex 29: 29-30; Lev 8:33; Acts 19:11-12 (Paul); Ephesians 4:11-15 (five-fold ministry, and no longer called CHILDREN).

A cut covenant brings about a father/son relationship, which leads to maturity. If you do not want to cut a covenant, it can lead to two paths of destruction:

1) Where you only want yourself as the head of the house, the son will become a bastard/illegitimate.
2) Where you want to make sure that only you produce, your son will become castrated/a eunuch.

Understand that your role is to produce a “son” who carries a double anointing and does more than you ever did (Elijah – Elisha; John – Jesus).

Ordained fathers are to be an earthly confirmation and witness to the heavenly voice of Father God (Ps 42:7 “…deep calls out to deep…”; Jer 31:9 “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart”.)

Help your son through the wilderness.
When Jesus was 12 years old he said, “Don’t you know I’m about my Father’s business” in Luke 2:49. Luke 2:51-52 tells us that He grew in maturity. After 18 years of silence He came into ministry – Luke 3: 21-22“Thou art My Beloved Son”.

Is the light in your house on?
Help them to learn values and to overcome the three physical and spiritual attacks of life exemplified by:
Cain – Where he doesn’t want anyone to have more than he has and he wants to be the greatest.

Balaam – Where he sells revelation for profit and seduces the people’s hearts from the father; uses his gifts for money; reaches out for both worlds and loses both.
Korah  – Where he speaks evil words to come against the word given; admire the man for your own advantage; rebellion.s

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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RESTORATION OF MANHOOD 19 – Types of fathers


You may disregard it, but the nature of our fathers great, rubs on us. It’s not a premonition or some work of magic that it is so. As fathers, if you want a better generation after us, we NEED to work on you first.

– Where only you are the head of the house.
– Only you make decisions. Your will is supreme.
– Everyone does as you say.
– A son is never released into manhood and never gets to experience choice. He lives a life of frustration.

Result? Illegitimate / Bastard.


– Where you make sure that only you produce.
– You choose a vision to build an empire instead of an inheritance.
– Son has possessions, clothes, etc. but lives a rejected life.
– Challenges are not presented for learning.
– Father’s records/achievements are always the best.
– Never good enough.

Result? Castrated / Eunuch.

A)​Father to Son

Abraham -> Isaac -> Jacob -> 12 tribes (from here we have the tribe of Levi which produced priests, and the tribe of Judah which gave kings among other examples).

Heb 5:4-5 And no one takes this honour on himself, but he receives it when called by God, just as Aaron was. In the same way, Christ did not take on himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him, “You are my Son; today I have become your Father.”

Connection in Ministry is always spiritual, for example:
– Moses to Joshua (Deut 34:9)
– Samuel to Saul (I Sam 10:12)
– Samuel to David (I Sam 16:13)
– Elijah to Elisha (II Kings 2:12)
– Paul to Titus (Titus 1:4)

We look more at God’s order in the next post.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
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