In the INITIAL stage of loss, we can enter a NUMB state of shock that, surprisingly, contains very LITTLE emotion. Don’t mistake this for FAITH! Some believers enter this state of shock, and they assume that their lack of emotion is some form of faith or trust.
Please hear this! The LORD can and does give strength, and there is a peace and a hope for His children, but it is also appropriate to grieve. Don’t worry if you can’t stop crying, and don’t worry if tears won’t flow early on … don’t panic and fear that you’re either a basket case or that you are stuffing your emotions. Just follow father Abraham’s lead. Stay put and take time to MOURN.
In this early phase of grief, it is very easy to DESPAIR. Some suggestions to guard against this:
✅Trust your relationship with GOD. You will probably think irrational thoughts. Since everything is so bleak, you may wonder if GOD has removed His Hand from your life. Will you ever live again? Take heart in this promise — He isn’t going to betray you. If zeal and passion wane (and they will), trust Him to carry you until you can run again.
✅Keep the size of GOD in perspective. He’s the BEGINNING and the END. If you judge Him only by the present circumstances, you will despair. The shortest moment of time is this present moment, but in grief the present moment seems to last for an eternity.
✅Let others pray for you, even if their prayers don’t seem to help. Let someone else bring you to the Throne of GOD. Rely on someone else’s faith. Give someone the blessing of bearing your burden in love.
✅Create your strategy for recovery and do it by FAITH. You may not want to attend church meetings or social functions (and that’s OKAY), but some things are still necessary for continued health. When a child is very hungry, water doesn’t sound very satisfying, but water is essential for life.
✅Guard against offense. HURTING moments are vulnerable moments. The hard knocks of life demolish our defenses, leaving us raw and exposed. Our skin seems to thin out, and we become much more sensitive to insult or injury. It seems impossible for people to respond to us correctly. We can be hurt if they don’t ask about our welfare, but we can feel they’re too flippant about it if they do.
✅Don’t PANIC. There is a frantic nervous fear that accompanies GRIEF — HOLD steady!
✅Stay in the lifeboat. Your job is not to overcome after trauma. Just lie there and BREATHE. Abraham stayed in the lifeboat and he grieved.
A word on REBOUND relationships.
Part of staying PUT is be very careful not to run into another relationship on the “REBOUND”, if you have not PROPERLY dealt with your emotions and GRIEF. It is VERY UNWISE to rush into another relationship! In this emotional state, you are NOT ready!
If you’ve had a very GOOD marriage, and your partner has passed away, the TENDENCY is to try and find a REPLACEMENT as soon as possible, to fill the LONELINESS …
BUT stay PUT and WAIT on GOD!
Credits – Amanda Buys