Can you IMAGINE the effect on your RELATIONSHIPS if EVERY DAY you gave SINCERE, positive feedback on how you VALUE them as a PERSON?!
HUSBANDS, take note of this for your WIVES. Your WIFE will BLOSSOM in you VALUING her for WHO she is, NOT for what she DOES.
Many times in marriage, the woman needs to know that she is valued for who she is. Men have a tendency to value a woman by providing, bringing gifts, and performance — that performance laps over into the bedroom.
The woman gets the view of herself as a being, but not a person. Many times she feels like she is just filling space on a shelf. When her husband needs the laundry done, he will run to the shelf, pick her up, put her down on the floor — she does the laundry and when it is done, he picks her up and puts her back on the shelf again.
When he wants to have intimacy in the bedroom, he picks her up off the shelf, puts her down on the floor, marches her into the bedroom — and when he is done, he puts her back on the shelf again.
The house needs to be cleaned, the children need to be fed and carted around — so, she is off the shelf and on the shelf — and so her life goes.
Husband feels that he is bonding with her and that they have a good relationship because he keeps on repainting the shelf every now and then — he lets her watch some television and brings her a gift while she sits on the shelf.
Men do not know how to value a woman for who she is on the inside. A husband will tell his wife she is beautiful, she looks great, but he never tells her how he feels about her as a person. He compliments her through the visual, but cannot compliment and value her as a person — feeling orientation.
Husbands, at least once or twice a day, find something of VALUE in your Wife. DON’T just compliment on how she LOOKS or what she DOES, but on how you FEEL about her as a PERSON! REMEMBER, we VALUE the person FIRST … and then we can VALUE the performance.
MEN, we know this is DIFFICULT for you — to recognize the little things a woman does in a relationship.
A man can really day dream in what he wants to accomplish — he has his dream structured in his mind as if it has come to pass. The wife pulls him back to reality — and this can also cause a conflict.
Women live in the reality of the here and now — where we are today. Men live six weeks into the future, and that is why they don’t see the little things that their wives are doing day-by-day, because they are so focused out in front — they cannot even express with appreciation what their wives are doing.
Another downside of men living in this dream world up to six weeks out in front, is that they express a lot of things to their wives about their dreams. They express it in present tense because in their minds it is already done.
The woman does not see it, but she goes along with it for a while — and then when her husband does not produce what he has been dreaming about — and this happens over and over again — then to her subconscious mind, he is lying. He talks big, but he does not produce. He has the lack of ability to follow through on his dreams, desires and goals.
Men need to flip into the reality of today and value and share an appreciation for all the things that their wives are doing for them every day — “How nice you looked on that day!” We get so used to each other in our relationships and we don’t recognize a change of hairstyle or a new dress, and so forth.
In ALL relationships, cultivate a DAILY appreciation of each … and watch what HAPPENS!
Credits – Amanda Buys