“With dating being a root of several divorces, how do I find my future mate,” you may wonder. Here is how…….
1. Gift of ATTRACTION
This is GOD‘s GIFT, for a PURPOSE. It is HIS Way of DRAWING human beings together for a PAIRING PROCESS.
It is to develop FRIENDSHIP, where they must make a CHOICE to pursue a LONG TERM relationship.
The ENEMY has MESSED with this GIFT. We are told …’ if it feels GOOD, just do it. Giving into these LIES and our LUST will cause such DAMAGE.
The couple will start feeling insecure, and wonder what could possibly be wrong! One feels they want the power over the other person and this goes back and forth, and the couple can’t figure out what is wrong. Why isn’t this working? Why am I so intensely possessive over the other person?
If there is intimacy before marriage, and the couple goes from GIFT of ATTRACTION to sexuality, they have BYPASSED every step in their subconscious COMPUTER that is needed to be laid down for a LIFE-GIVING long term relationship. And they will HAVE to go BACK and follow GOD’s way.
We develop Godly friendships in FOUR progressive stages. We suggest you make a list of all your friends and place them in the category of where they should be.
You learn their names and you recognize them give them respect and dignity and move on. You are not looking towards a long-term relationship. Youre alert to each new person around you, and have a CHEERFUL countenance and smile. You ask appropriate questions, which reflect interest and acceptance, and you’re a good LISTENER.
You run across each other and from there you get enough information about them to find out if they need to stay in the casual group, or move to the close friends group. You discover their strong points, and learn about their hopes and desires for their lives.
At this point, you develop and ask appropriate specific questions. You show interest and concern, and let them share problems with you. Be honest about yourself without digging up the past. Reflect interest and trustworthiness in being their friend.
You could have quite a number of close friends. You see potential for achievement in their lives, and discover and discuss the specific goals they have. You serve an interest in the development of their goals. You’re aware of conflicts which may hinder the development of these goals, but are creative and encourage them to develop and achieve.
This is where you should not have more than FIVE intimate friends at any one given time. These are friends, that if you tell something to them, it does not come back and bite you in future. Before sharing our intimate secrets and pain you need to know which of your friends are true friends and support systems. We talk too much to too many people, too many times and then we feel betrayed and unworthy and start hating ourselves for not having the right judgment in picking friends.
As intimate friends, you are sensitive to traits and attitudes in each other, that need improvement and you are committed to:
– Give comfort through trials and sorrows.
– Assume a personal concern for their reputation.
– Faithfulness, loyalty, and availability.
There is more to this in the next post……..
Credits- Amanda Buys