RESTORING YOUR SEXUALITY 45 – A word to the counselor/minister


I CANNOT over estimate confidentiality related to any counseling and ministry. But it is especially important in the sexual arena.

You must provide a private setting, a place where they can feel safe. Keep any records in locked files. Just keep what is necessary.

Let them know the ministry will be confidential. It is a sacred trust for people to open the painful experiences of their lives.

Many times you will hear the words, “I have never told anyone this before.” Rejoice! It is the beginning of healing.

Trust must be established before this happens. I have found that when counseling and ministering by the Spirit of God, trust can be established in moments.

In normal counseling, it will usually take a long period of time.

God can simply give them a witness of the spirit, “You can trust this person.” That makes life easier and saves time.

Depending upon the degree of damage and the level of spiritual maturity, the healing will occur at different rates. Sometimes there are levels and then another breakthrough. Don’t take them beyond where they are ready to go or where God is leading you.

Sometimes, you may know the exact problem, but they aren’t ready to see it. Pray and intercede for the revelation to come. Count the cost before you make a commitment to their healing.

They have already had enough people fail them. You may have to set boundaries if they are really needy. That’s okay. If it’s something that you feel you don’t have enough experience in, help them find someone and be there as they are transferred.

Most of the time, I have found that the Lord won’t send someone unless He is going to equip you for the work. Even though at the time, you may feel inadequate, He is wanting to train and equip you. You have to discern the difference.

People are always afraid to face pain or to get in touch with their anger. They are afraid that if they start crying, they will never stop; if they get angry, they might hurt someone. You have to encourage them that there is a bottom to their pain.

They will find it one day as they work through their issues. You have to encourage them that they can be angry and sin not. Many people think it’s a sin to feel angry. That’s a lie. Anger is a natural expression of pain.

Just like if someone stomps our toe, we say, “Ouch! ” When we feel stomped on emotionally, we will react in anger. The main thing is to learn how to be angry and sin not. I have seen teddy bears ripped apart, pillows beat and heard people scream. They were in a safe place. They didn’t hurt anyone – The repressed anger was released.

If you are uncomfortable with their emotions, they will be uncomfortable. Don’t be scared, the Lord will be there and help you. Just bind up any demonic manifestations.

Release the Seven-Fold Spirit of God in your ministry (Isaiah Chapter 11).

🌼A man continues to commit adultery. He needs the fear of the Lord. Lay hands on him and impart and stir up the Fear of the Lord.

🌼A woman is battling fear. It always seems to overtake her. She continues to have panic attacks. She needs an impartation of the Spirit of Might.

🌼Another woman keeps saying “Why? If I only knew Why?” Declare that she is receiving an impartation of the Spirit of Understanding.

Before you know it, she will be saying, “Now I understand…”

We always need the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22); love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

The more fruit we have the easier it is to minister.

🍪The love releases compassion which is the substance of miracles.

🍪The joy gives us strength.

🍪The longsuffering keeps us from killing the people we are ministering to (just wanted to know if you were paying attention).

🍪The faithfulness keeps us from quitting if the going gets tough, etc.

We need all of it.

Then there are the Gifts of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12).

🎾Don’t leave home without them. I can’t tell you how many times a word of knowledge has saved the day or a word of wisdom was the perfect response.

🎾Discerning of spirits can be a tremendous asset. Gifts of healing, faith, working of miracles, what would we do without them.

🎾Many times prophecy can totally change a situation. Tongues and interpretation can bring us the answers to the mysteries we are faced with.

You have a better chance if more of the gifts are in operation. Know what gifts the Lord has given you and exercise them.

If you run into a situation and you know you need discerning of spirits but don’t feel you have that gifting, find someone who does and get their feedback.

In the natural, doctors call on specialists for their opinions all of the time, so why can’t we? I believe as we use our gifting faithfully, God will increase and add to our arsenal.

Remember the gifts of the Spirit are not for you, but to profit the Body of Christ. The Word of God tells us not to be ignorant of spiritual gifts and to desire them. They demonstrate the power and reality of God in the earth.

🏉Discern when to begin weaning the relationship. Pray for the transition. Do not allow people toget dependent on you. Your job is to teach them how to access the Lord and to appropriate whatHe has already done for them.

🏉Equip them, don’t enable them. You want them walking out knowing the Lord loves them and that He is awesome. Not that you are a great counselor or minister. Yes, they will be grateful and thankful but that is different. We cripple people when we make them dependent on us. The Lord has called us to empower people!

Credits – Amanda Buys

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