RESTORING YOUR SEXUALITY 28 – Sexual Addictions


Any type of sexual behaviour can become an addiction. Addiction is when we no longer have control over our desire for something.

We use it to medicate ourselves and to escape the real issues of our lives. We don’t have to face our problems or our pain because the addiction consumes our thoughts, our time and our energy.

Adrenalin, serotonin, opioids (opium like neurotransmitters) and other chemicals can be released in our body and brain because of sexual activity. They are as strong as heroin😳.

Addiction creates a need and desire for more of those chemicals; we become our own drug pushers. We need more and more in order to find the same satisfaction.

Sexual addiction actually is a chemical addiction, a physical addiction, an emotional addiction and an activity addiction. That’s a lot of fronts to have to fight.

As with any addiction, it causes the person to need more and more. Just like a drug addict starts out with marijuana and says that they will never do hard drugs and then ends up on crack or heroin, the sex addict can start out by saying a lot of things they won’t do.

If the addiction is not dealt with, they can end up having affairs, picking up prostitutes, becoming promiscuous, joining swinger clubs, prostituting themselves, etc. Masturbation escalates from a couple times a week to several times a day. Your addiction may not be that dramatic at this point, but here are some things to think about.

How do you know if you have a sexual addiction?

♻️What happens if you go without the sexual behaviour? ♻️Are you cranky, irritable, unable to concentrate or focus, are you angry at the people who you feel are keeping you from your addiction?
♻️Also, has it caused loss in your life? Has it caused divorce, loss of jobs, etc., yet you still pursue it? That’s addiction.
♻️Do you use it when you are stressed, tense or just feeling bad? That’s addiction.
♻️Are you unable to control it? That’s addiction.
♻️Do you try to convince yourself and others that you are not addicted? That’s addiction.
♻️Will you pressure your spouse for sex regardless of their physical condition? That’s addiction.

I [Amanda] have actually counseled couples where the husband demanded sex right after the delivery of a child or right after surgery. They had to have their fix and made the spouse feel responsible to satisfy their addictive need.

⚜️Do you have an addictive personality?
⚜️Do you tend to be impulsive, selfish and irresponsible? (If you’re not sure and you are brave enough, ask your spouse.)
⚜️Do you have difficulty sharing your feelings?
⚜️Are you unable to discern long term consequences?
⚜️Do you need instant gratification?
⚜️Do you use lying, deception and blame shifting to cover your behaviour?
⚜️If you start down a path are you unable to stop and move in another direction?
⚜️Do you make self destructive and self defeating choices? That’s an addictive personality.

You will not only have to deal with the sexual addiction, you will have to deal with the roots of your addictive personality. If you don’t, it will just transfer to something more sociably acceptable, like eating, sports or even religion. Anything which causes us not to face the reality of our lives and relationships can be an addiction.

Credits – Amanda Buys

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