RESTORING YOUR SEXUALITY 16 – Dynamics of Shame cont’d


Continuing from where we left off……..

Without a true relationship with our Heavenly Father, we just end up religious. Just as Adam and Eve ran from their intimacy with God when shame entered in, we too will run from His presence because of our feelings of shame and unworthiness.

We can become overprotective and controlling with our children. “I will never let what happened to me happen to my children. I won’t let them out of my sight.” Our control will then foster rejection and rebellion in the people around us. Our children will rebel from the over control.

They will reject us. This creates even more shame. It is a vicious cycle which can only be dealt by going to the core which is either the sin that was committed against us or the sin we committed. Through forgiveness of others and ourselves, we can obtain access into the healing presence of God.

Isaiah 61:7 suddenly is no longer words in our Bible. It becomes our reality. “Instead of your shame you shall have double honour.”

Because of the dynamics of shame, which covers and hides, one of the most effective ways of combating it is to confess to someone. The Word says that if we confess sins our sins to one another that He will be faithful to heal us.

You may have experienced sexual abuse that was not your sin, but you may have harbored thoughts of hatred, even murder.

Those are sin and must be renounced. You need to find someone who you can trust; someone who has the ability to keep those issues in confidence. It may be a minister, a counselor or a friend. But I want to encourage you to open up to someone, it will be your first step to healing.

When the Lord paid for sin with His own precious Blood, He also paid for the shame that accompanied it. We rob Him when we withhold it. He wants to deliver us from it. It is so exciting to see what happens when shame leaves.

So many behaviours that we have tried to battle suddenly have no more power over us.

Perfectionism suddenly doesn’t seem so important any more.

The relentless need to stay busy, watch television, play computer games, work, go shopping, etc. leaves us. We no longer have to control the possibilities that memories will come back. As we are healed, insomnia leaves or the desire to oversleep goes.

So many times, we try to battle the fruit of our issues which leaves us frustrated and exhausted. We have to expose the root and minister to the root. When we do, the fruit of our lives will change.

Our fear is that if we get in touch with our painful memories, we will just be left with them and all the emotional baggage that goes with them. I [Amanda Buys] want to reassure you that I have never seen God leave anyone undone. It may be a journey but if you will take the first step, He will meet you all along the way.

Isaiah 54:4 says, “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; for you will forget the shame of your youth.”

The journey may be painful, but it’s worth it. Take one step at a time, He’s got your back🙂

Just a little more about shame in our next post…..

Credits – Amanda Buys

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