RESTORING YOUR SEXUALITY 4 – Sexual Imprinting


I want to give you some examples of sexual imprinting and how it works. There are two types of sexual imprinting:
– First time experience (as shared earlier), and;
– Repeated experiences.

Here are a few examples in order to help you understand the dynamics.

Example 1
A young boy is taught how to masturbate by friends while still in elementary school. Because he has very little other physical contact from his family (they don’t show physical affection), it becomes a form of comfort to him.

After a while, when he feels stressful, masturbation helps relax him and it continues throughout high school. The frequency increases from once a week to at least one to two times a day.

He’s not concerned because he knows once he gets married the desire will be satisfied by his wife. Wrong! He has become imprinted through first time experience and through repeated practice.

Now he’s married and even though he enjoys sex with his wife there is still a deep desire to masturbate. Two issues are at hand. It has become an addiction and it is a part of his sexual imprinting.

He goes to his pastor and has the spirit of lust cast out of him. He feels a little relief but knows that the desire is still there. He begins to wonder, “Did he really receive deliverance?”

This is a shameful thing and he doesn’t want his wife to know so he hides it more and more. The stress triggers the addiction part of the problem. It creates more of a desire to release the tension through masturbation.

It becomes a vicious cycle. He needs deliverance, prayer for sexual cleansing and purification and help overcoming the addiction.

Example 2
Next scenario, a man has a desire to expose himself to young girls that look a certain way. He has become a Christian. He believes in Jesus Christ but he just can’t seem to help himself at certain times. He has even been incarcerated. Now he’s married, out of prison, but still battles these urges. He lives in fear that he might do it again. Let’s look at his imprinting.

His sexual history reveals that as a young boy, he was sexually imprinted by watching his older sisters when they didn’t know it. He would watch them undress and catch glimpses of them in the bathroom. They just thought he was a young boy and weren’t that concerned. He began to get sexually excited while watching them. Deep down he wanted to connect to them sexually.

He wanted to let them know he was there. Fear kept him from exposing himself. His sister grew up, but deep down inside of him was left the desire for young girls that looked like his sisters.

He just wanted to connect to them, let them know he was there. Now he looks for young girls and acts out his childhood desire. The results of his imprinting has damaged and scarred the young girls he has exposed himself to. Sexual sin creates sexual damage in others.

We wonder if he is really saved. How can he worship God with those terrible desires? If people at church find out about his past, they distance themselves from him which increases his shame. Yes, he is saved but his sexuality has not been sanctified.

⏩Please understand, there is a difference in protecting our children and distancing ourselves from an individual because we do not understand their sin.

Most sexual sin is very understandable after a complete sexual history is taken. It doesn’t make it right but you can understand how it became a sexual practice.

⏩The serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer is a good example [you can find information about him on the internet]. How can anyone get sexual satisfaction out of killing someone and then having sex with them? If you study his sexual history, it’s quite clear.

His first sexual imprinting was after finding a dead body on the side of the road. He brought the body home as a teenager and experimented sexually with it.

He was sexually imprinted with a dead man’s body. His home environment lacked physical affection; he was afraid of girls; it became much easier to be intimate with the dead rather than the living.

Do not underestimate the power of sexual imprinting. God created it to work. It should have worked to our good. When sin enters in, it works to our detriment.

Credits – Amanda Buys

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