A few illustrations of communicating love …….


The Toucher and the Communicator.
Ben and Veronica were married for fifteen years. They had a good marriage, however, in some way or another, they always missed each other. When they heard about the different manners of loving, all became clear.

Ben is a toucher. He wants to show love by touching and being close, and that is the way he expects to be loved too.

Veronica is a communicator. She wants to talk, to encourage, and that is the way she expects to be loved by others, especially by her husband.

Of course they would miss the mark!

Once they realized which love-language was top priority for each of them, they could meet each other on their own levels and be fulfilled.

The Giver.
Mr. and Mrs. Tusiime have three children. The middle one, John, is a giver. Since he was a toddler, you could always find him busy “making” something, wrapping it in gift-paper, or wanting to buy some things for the other members of the family. Gift giving is John’s main way of communicating love! And that will also be the love-language he will understand when given to him.
The Server and the Listener.

Think of Martha and Mary. Martha was a server. Mary was the “quality time giver” and a good listener. Had Martha understood this, it would have been no problem for her having to do the work all by herself. That was anyway her way of showing her love for the Lord – by serving Him and His disciples.

Mary, on the other hand, was hanging on His lips, sitting there in awe – not at all interested in the preparation of food for this group of men or in serving them in the physical!

Luke 10:38-40 “38 Now while they were on their way, it occurred that Jesus entered a certain village, and a woman named Martha received and welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord’s feet and was listening to His teaching. 40 But Martha [overly occupied and too busy] was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord, is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me [to lend a hand and do her part along with me]!”

Now look at that! Two sisters from the same family, the one a devoted server, and the other … a devoted listener!

Martha’s concept of giving and receiving love was: “Tomorrow morning I must get up at five to kneed the bread, to pick some fresh herbs and to prepare those delicacies for the Master and His men. Oh I am going to make it worth the while for them! Just to see them enjoying this food, will make me happy!” Martha showed her love by serving, but wrongly expected the same from Mary!

Mary on the other hand, was probably thinking: “Tomorrow the Master will be here! Glory! To think I will have a whole day of sitting at His feet, listening to His words of wisdom! Who wants to eat? I can just sit there and drink and eat my spirit to the fill … sheer pleasure!”

See how easily we can misinterpret each other?

Now think for a moment about yourself, think about your spouse or children or parents or friends.

See if you can “categorize” them in one of these groups.

Credits – Amanda Buys.
Image source –


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