How do we give our love effectively?

What paths do we have to follow to end up in the right place, together with our children and those around us?
If you are a parent, you will know that it’s not that simple to communicate your love effectively all the time.

We make mistakes, and we tend to repeat those mistakes. Sometimes it takes a long time to repair that damage, to build trust and to break down walls between you and your child or any other person, for that matter.

The “crowbar” needed here is love! Often emotion has to take second place in this kind of repairing. Sometimes we must take a rational decision to break down those barriers.

To achieve an effective result here, a few things must be kept in mind:

Love is NOT:
To give your children or others everything they desire.
To let them always have their way.
To never let them wait.
To never let them cry.
To compromise God’s Instructions in bringing them up or making them feel good.

Love is To give yourself.
In order to achieve this, we must learn to discern the different “color and sound” of love! We must discern the “wave” on which the other person is and how he will interpret and receive our love-gestures. Love has in a sense an emotional color and sound to it.

That which one person experiences as love, another can quite easily interpret as rejection, and there are a few more examples in this!

Listen and watch for instance when people near you talk in a foreign language which you don’t understand. You can only interpret the meaning of their words by watching their reactions, listening to the tone of their voices and perceiving how the one talked to, reacts. Often it “seems” and “sounds” as if they are offensive or defensive, but the next moment they will laugh, pat each other on the shoulder and walk away. It’s because that language is foreign to you, and you could only interpret it on your level of perception.

The same happens when your perception of giving love is not understood by the other person. He misinterprets it for something else, and misses it. And you may feel rejected by his reaction.

It is, however, very true that love is a universal language!
There are many ways to communicate love:
1. To serve one another,
2. To encourage,
3. Giving time to one another,
4. Touching and being close enough to be touched,
5. By giving.

We get to look at these in-depth in our subsequent posts.
Credits- Amanda Buys.
Image source –


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