The imagination that marriage is a bed of thorns slowly diminished as I came to these deep and freeing revelations. I pray that if you are in the same boat as I was, you will be freed.
Men are commanded to dwell with your wives according to knowledge (I Pet 3:7).
Revelation is therefore needed concerning this great mystery – understanding the differences between man [iysh/zakar] and woman [ishshah/neqebah].
EPH 5:25-29 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such things that she might be holy and faultless. Even so husband should love their wives as being in a sense their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church…
There are two distinct ways in which a husband is expected to love his wife:
- Husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the Church by sanctifying and cleansing her. This relationship deals with her need as neqebah (female) and must be met by zakar (male).
- They must also love their wives as themselves by nourishing her and cherishing her. This relationship reveals her need as ishshah (woman) and is provided by iysh (man).
Our Heavenly Husband ministers to our natural life by nourishing and cherishing us. To do this He meets our physical and soulish needs. At the same time, He ministers to our spiritual needs through sanctifying and cleansing us, His Bride, by His Word.
Husbands must also provide the same for their wives – in BOTH areas – SPIRITUAL and NATURAL needs.
A wife is a garden enclosed, a spring shut up and a fountain sealed if she is not gently touched by her husband (S of S 4:12). A husband will reap what he sows in his garden, so do not neglect your personal “garden of Eden”.
The “Holy of Holies” in the mystery of marriage is visited when zakar (male) and neqebah (female) come together. Iysh (man) and ishshah (woman) can only have sex; it takes zakar and neqebah to make love. It should be a natural transition to flow from prayer and the worship of Jesus Christ to the intimacy of the undefiled marriage bed.
Again, the responsibility falls to the husband as the priest of his marriage to blow with the wind of the Spirit upon his garden so that her spices may flow out (S of S 4:16).
Sexual intimacy between zakar and neqebah was ordained by God to teach us about the true intimacy between Christ and the Church. Husbands must learn to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. When she comes as ishshah needing to be nourished and cherished by her natural husband, he should provide for the needs of her flesh and her body through iysh. However, when she comes as neqebah needing to be cleansed and sanctified in her spirit, he must bring her God through the reflective nature of zakar.
Credits – Amanda Buys
Image source – bvikkivintage.blogspot.com