The sky was clear blue that morning. The seagulls chirped so loud. All I had on my mind was you. You had left so soon, leaving an enormous hole in my heart.

Despite having nursed you back to life, you did not blink before packing and leaving. I had grown accustomed to your routine. So much so that I had fused mine into yours. Now that you are gone, I feel a great sense of loss. How do I separate myself from you? How do I tell myself that you will never return?

Without a destination address, I have nowhere to look, for you. I have no way to sooth my smothered feelings with the illusion of your return.

So I sit at the pier, remembering what was and will never be ever again. I try to appreciate the things we both loved. But all I get is a bitter taste in my mouth. Did your departure puncture my pancreas that all I taste is bitterness in my mouth?


14 thoughts on “MY SMOTHERED HEART

  1. What painfully poignant portrait of grief you’ve painted here.

    It is so much harder to heal after a loss when the one we’ve lost held so much of our own identity, fused into theirs.


  2. Of course she’s bitter, she loved him and that he up and left, no explanation why is hurtful. He doesn’t contact her and didnt obviously realize how important he was to the narrator. She has memories but those often make us bitter when we’ve lost. I hope she’s able to move on sometime. Great write!


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