How often do you approach your child or talk to him or her and they show your obvious signs of fear? I have had my share of it. My little girl would sometimes walk backwards as I approached her. It caused me pain to see that kind of reaction so I had to check how I treated and reacted to her. With time, the cowering response turned into a hug and a peck.
That does not mean that I stopped disciplining her. It is the mode of action that changed. From a shouted order to a calm instruction. From abrupt punishment, to a calm talk and restrained action. Some may not agree with it but it worked for me.
It is not only isolated to disciplining, it is also with how we react to ugly situations. Do you lose your temper because you have missed the mark or messed up something? It affects your children. Rachel Macy Stafford explains that in her article, Two Words That Can Bring You Back to Peaceful Territory. We are not perfect, we shall have our moments of getting angry, saddened, frustrated. However, how long do we stay in these states?
As parents, we need to learn how to calm ourselves down regardless of the circumstance. Our children should not view us emotional failures or parenting as a task that drains one of all self control. Is it a messed up floor, a flooding bathroom or a terribly stained cloth? Whatever it is, come back home, as Rachel says.